I'm really happy.
She's...umm...happy enough.
He's a good dude - kind, considerate, loyal, loving, attractive...all of that.
Soooo, what's the problem?
According to her, he doesn't give her the "woo woos".
You know, those little butterflies...and that sparkly, fiery, Fourth of July feeling...
But what are the woo woos, really?
With the wrong man, I think they are those feelings of stress a woman experiences when she's in a doomed relationship.
Her stomach flips and dips when he doesn't return her calls, when he can't be reached on his cell and when she suspects him of cheating.
They're the feelings a woman experiences when the love she gives is taken for granted and is not reciprocated but, for some reason, she holds on.
These kind of woo woos should be called the "woe woes".
Because that's what you end up having when the guy who made you see "fireworks" turns out to be a disaster and a regret.
I don't think any woman should commit to a man who does not interest or stimulate her. If he doesn't do it for you, then he doesn't do it for you and you shouldn't force something to work just because the guy is nice and likable.
My man gives me butterflies, fireworks, and everything else in between...but he gives me love more than anything else. Drama free.
When there's no soap opera, why do we fear that he's not "the one"? That he's too boring? And too ordinary? Or too unspecial?
"What if there's someone better?" We wonder.
What if there isn't?
Maybe the calm is a sign of something good.
That saying about wanting what you can't have rings true here. We sometimes desire those unattainable men who string us along, drive us crazy and stress us out. Sure, he's physically present but you know that neither his heart nor his mind are with you.
But you still want him.
They say men enjoy the chase...some women do as well.
After surviving a series of heartbreaks with men who gave her the woo woos and the woe woes, a woman is sometimes unprepared to have a great guy come her way. If he's too loving, too available, too open, we assume that something must be wrong.
And sometimes that causes us to create our own drama...
He accidentally writes "your" instead of "you're" in his text...you want to re-enroll him in the fourth grade.
He wore the wrong socks one time so you decide that he has no style, no swag, and can't possibly be the one.
He pronounces a menu item incorrectly...obviously that means he's an idiot and is not your soul mate.
Stop it.
Stop looking for something to be wrong and let a good man love you.
The Bible defines love as follows:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)The entire passage is the bomb, but I always hover around the first three words, "Love is patient." Doesn't that mean it takes its time?
You might not get the woo woos on the first date. Maybe not even the second or third dates. But if he's a good person and you like him, isn't he worth giving a chance?
I met my boyfriend in Miami, of all places. He's from New York, I'm from Maryland and we seemed worlds apart in the beginning. For the longest time I thought he was "super cool" but I specifically told my girlfriend, "I really like him, but he is not my husband."
But we kept talking and built a friendship. We enjoyed each other as people first, not as potential bed mates or even as a potential boyfriend/girlfriend.
And now, he's the peanut butter to my jelly. :-)
Fireworks don't always ignite in the beginning. And maybe that's a good thing. Sometimes fireworks are really lust and infatuation. Give it a reasonable amount of time. Accept him for who he is and not for who you want him to be.
Don't compare him to any jokers from your past who gave you that tingly feeling but also broke your heart.
Don't start fights to test him.
Don't challenge his manhood.
Don't be a drama queen.
:-)
Alonna
