I'm two weeks into married life and although I can't give much insight into this new "club" I now belong to, I can definitely share some things I learned while being single for 32 years and 9 months. :-)
Remaining single into my 30s was a blessing that I didn't fully appreciate until a couple of years ago. I learned a lot about myself, about men and about relationships. There's no magic number for when a woman should marry - so stop putting pressure on yourself - but I definitely think that every woman should do these things before jumping the broom!
Remaining single into my 30s was a blessing that I didn't fully appreciate until a couple of years ago. I learned a lot about myself, about men and about relationships. There's no magic number for when a woman should marry - so stop putting pressure on yourself - but I definitely think that every woman should do these things before jumping the broom!
1. Get educated
Whether it's your BA, MA, or PhD, cosmetology school or classes at the local community college...find something that interests you and become better at it. I read that women with more years of higher education have a lower chance of getting divorced than women without. One "expert" also said that educated women are more confident about who they are and are less likely to settle for a man who doesn't meet their standards. Now, I don't know how accurate these statistics are because I've made plenty of bad relationship decisions since graduating from college but I do know that you'll definitely feel a sense of accomplishment that no man can take away from you - no matter how bad the break up!
2. See the world
If you don't have a passport, go to the State Department's website and apply for one as soon as you're finished reading this post :-). Then, grab a map, call a few of your girls and make plans to get out of town ASAP! I'd never advise anyone to take on debt but one credit card worth having is the "travel credit card". If you can't get out of the country, travel within it - go on a picnic in Central Park, take in the sights from the top floor of the Hancock building, dance the night away on Ocean Drive - just go! And if you have no idea where any of those places I just mentioned are, then you really need to get to steppin'!
3. Live alone
One of the best decisions I ever made was purchasing a house by myself. It doesn't matter if you rent or own, living alone is something every woman should do before getting married. You learn valuable lessons about financial responsibility and best of all, you learn to appreciate your own company.
4. Eat alone - and often
With most of my friends a 40-minute drive away, I don't always have someone readily available when I'm craving pork empanadas or when I want to treat myself to more than a drive-through meal or curbside take away. Should I wait until someone else's schedule aligns with mine just so I can eat? Heck no! Sometimes I bring a book or magazine, sometimes I just sit and relish the fact that no matter how many couples or families surround me, I'm perfectly okay with eating a meal by myself. I don't feel like a loser because I'm not one and I know that with one call, I could probably find someone to join me...but the best part is that I don't have to. :-)
5. Go to the movies alone - and often
As a teacher, I have a lot of free time in the summer. Sometimes I'll decide in the middle of the afternoon that I want to see a movie when everyone is at work. Soooo what do I do? I go anyway. One ticket, one bucket of popcorn, one large Icee and I am good to go. I even saw "Slumdog Millionaire" on a Saturday night...which some people wouldn't dare to do alone!
6. Date a lot of boys, kiss a lot of frogs
Society has brainwashed women into believing that if we date around, we are just as bad as the players who have broken our hearts. Newsflash: Being single is all about dating! I always tell women to accept a date with just about any man who asks, so long as he doesn't seem mentally unstable or is a fugitive. Who cares if he isn't your "type"? You don't have to marry him, you're just having dinner or drinks. It won't hurt to spend a few hours of your time with someone new. At the very least, you'll learn one more thing that you want (or don't want) in a partner.
The single life comes with so many freedoms and blessings. Enjoy them all because your life WILL change once you say "I do"!
Have fun!!
Alonna :-)
I think this was a very brilliant title for your article first off, very creative! I absolutely agree with every point you made, and am currently in the process of accomplishing some of those goals! Many women do not know how to love themselves and just enjoy their own company, I have to admit I have been guilty of feeling that way on a few occasions! But I absolutely am working on being comfortable in my own skin! Thanks so much for sharing such a great article
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading Ashanna! By the time I got married, I had really grown to love being single. And I still really enjoy my own company. :-)
ReplyDeleteLove it! I'm a late bloomer in the single department after being married for so long. But I have to say, I much prefer being single in my 30's than my 20's. I'm smarter, have more money... lol, know a lot more about myself, relationships, and about life in general. I also think that because I'm just now experiencing what many people experience just out of college or in their early 20's, I tend to appreciate it more. Plus I've already been there done that, so the chances of me settling are slim to none! lol. Just recently became accustomed to the whole dinner and movie alone. I was scared at first, but now I love it! I don't have to wait around for anyone if I don't have to (although most of the time they are waiting on me *side eye*). I love the passport idea! Working on that ASAP!
ReplyDelete